Happy Hour
by dracosdarling
Summary: Harry and the gang as well as Draco, Crabbe and Goyle gather in the Great Hall for some alcoholic fun. Dumbledore and Snape among others make appearances. Rating just to be safe, probably more PG.
1. Thug Lovin'

Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling. I do not own Harry or any other of the delightful characters. Do you seriously think that if I was her I would be wasting my time writing stories without getting paid? I didn't think so. I also don't own any of the songs. All I own is the storyline.  
  
One afternoon, for reasons not even known to Dumbledore, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Draco, Crabbe and Goyle, had gathered in the Great Hall at 5 PM for Happy Hour. They spent about an hour getting drunk on butterbeer (Crabbe and Goyle had immune systems not unlike house elves') and pumpkin Bacardi Wheezers (the Weasley twins had now gone into the alcohol industry where they had negotiated deals with Bacardi among other brands). Suddenly, Draco jumped on the table and shouted  
  
"OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGod! Lets have a karaoke competition!!!!!!" He then started playing an imaginary guitar and humming some song.  
  
"Cool!!!!!!" said Harry, who jumped on the table too. "Danadanadanadanadanadanadanadana karaoke!!!" (A/N: In case you were wondering, that's supposed to be that batman song.) "OK, who wants to go first, ME!!!! I just have to get changed. Ooh fun, fun, fun!" said Harry as he dashed around the corner. (A/N: Don't ask me where there would be a corner in the Great Hall, there just is.) Everyone else sat down facing the teachers' table. Just then, Harry came in wearing a bright, frilly off-the- shoulder dress and a pineapple hat. Ron jumped and ran over to him and exclaimed  
  
"Oh Harry, you look fabulous!" Harry smiled and blushed and made his way over to the teachers' table. He climbed up and stood there for a second. "I'm so nervous!" He closed his eyes and opened and then started to sing. "Her name was Lola. She was a showgirl." Everyone was on their feet cheering. ".At the copa, copacabana." He finished his song and bowed. He went to sit down with a huge grin on his face. Hermione took charge.  
  
"Alright, Crabbe or Goyle can go next. Ok you both want to go together? Fine" They went off together giggling like mad. After about 10 minutes they came back wearing tuxedos. They stood on the table and started to sing "You put your right arm in, you put your right arm out you put your right arm in and you shake it all about. You do the hokey pokey and you turn around. That's what it's all about!" They did the same for the left arm and suddenly some other music comes on and they start singing "You can leave your hat on." while they take off the top half of their outfits. They might look fat from the outside but that is actually all muscle. Hermione was drooling. They did the hokey pokey for their legs and then took off their pants, leaving them butt-naked. They proceeded to do the hokey pokey with some body parts that everyone, even Hermione, wished they would have kept covered. They bowed and quickly ran out to get dressed. 


	2. C'mon Get Happy

"Well, that was a, er, interesting performance. Ahem. Well I think it's your turn now Ron." Ron, who had probably been the most drunk, dashed out and came back in, head to toe in 60's gear and holding a guitar.  
  
"Hello, my name is Danny Partridge," he slurred. "And I hate my brother Keith. For some reason all the girls love pretty boy David. He's not even a good singer. Girls never like the cute redhead who plays the drums, it's all lead sing this, and lead sing that. Well fuck you Keith, I'm gunna give you a run for your money" he said as he extended his middle finger. He then proceeded to sing a terrible rendition of "I Think I Love You", glasses literally shattering as he tried to hit the high notes (tried being the operative word). Hermione was looking very distressed by now.  
  
"Ok, then. Draco, do you perhaps have something to sing for us?" He was just about to answer when Dumbledore burst in.  
  
"What's this I hear about a karaoke competition?" Everyone gaped at him. He had shaved his beard off and dyed his hair black and was wearing a lot of make-up. He had anorexic eyebrows (A/N: I hope I don't offend anyone, I just thought it was a good way to describe really thin eyebrows.), bright blue eyeshadow, bright red lipstick and so much foundation his face was caked with it. But the most worrying of all was his outfit. He was wearing nothing but a corset, frilly black knickers, fishnets, garters and red stilettos. He jumped on the table and started to sing. "I'm just a sweet transvestite. from transsexual Hogwartssssssssssssssss." Silence. Then Ron, who had been gazing up at Dumbledore, enraptured, stood up and applauded.  
  
"Well done sir, that was absolutely fantastic. You totally nailed that ending." Hermione and Harry looked at each other.  
  
"Oh no, Ron's gone gay again." Said Harry.  
  
"He always does this when he drinks pumpkin Wheezers. I wouldn't be surprised if Fred and George did that on purpose." Said Hermione, looking slightly distressed. "Draco, would you like to have a turn?"  
  
"OK" he said, dashing off to get changed. Meanwhile Dumbledore settled into the seat next to Ron, ready for the next performance. 


	3. Deco re, re, re

Draco walked in and stood on the table. He was wearing a frilly, pale yellow dress that came to just below the knees and his hair was kept back with a matching headband. He conjured up a stool and sat on it with his legs crossed. "Look at me, I'm Sandra Dee. Lousy with virginity." Funnily enough, he managed to sing in almost exactly the same voice as Stockard Channing did in Grease. The whole time, everyone just sat there, shocked, staring vacantly at him long after he had stopped. It was such a change of character for Draco. Before anyone had a chance to comment, Snape swept into the room.  
  
"Dumbledore, I need to discus something with you." Dumbledore just sat there smiling benignly. "In private" he added pointedly.  
  
"As soon as the karaoke competition is over." Dumbledore replied.  
  
"Did you say karaoke competition?" Dumbledore nodded. "Well count me in!"  
  
"Ok then Professor, fetch a costume and you can perform a song of your choice for us." Snape swept out of the room and soon came back wearing just a towel. He stood on the table for a few seconds then started to softly sing  
  
"Deco re re re Deco re re re Deco re re re Deco re re " before bursting into song. "As IIIIIIIIII shampoo my hair, I really love, my Decore. And I, I love the feeling, so does the family oh yeah. Decore re re re Deco re re re Deco re re re." the whole time, washing his hair. After a second Harry piped up  
  
"How could your hair be so greasy when you appear to wash it so much?" Snape stood there for a second, tears springing to his eyes.  
  
"Its because it's so shiny!" He then started to wail and lay down on the floor in the foetal position. Harry looked shocked.  
  
"Ummmmm. I'm sorry Professor but it really does look it. And anyway, I thought your face was really greasy as a kid so I kind of associated one with the other." Snape looked up, slightly uncurled himself and sobbed  
  
"I had an acne problem OK?!" Just then, Parvati and Lavender burst into the room, breathless.  
  
"Did we just hear the word shiny when associated with hair?" Exclaimed Parvati.  
  
"Sorry we took so long, we had to reapply lipgloss." Said Lavender "Now who's the lucky person?"  
  
A/N: I've noticed that most authors say something at the end of each chapter and so I've decided to start doing it too. I'd like to thank the people who have left reviews(all two of them!) and keep them coming. Oh especially Dreamless_Mermaid or something I'm not sure if that's your exact name(sorry () because I read your review and I was so happy for the rest of the day. Thank you thank you thank you. And please could someone review and tell me what flames are because I have no idea what they are and I want to know why noone wants them. Thanks. Toodlez! 


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